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Nathan Neal Robertson 
November 13, 1987 - February 11, 2008
We love you and miss you already!
"Farewell, our beloved son, our brother, our friend, and our many dreams. We release you, at last, not in sadness, but in joy. For the song you brought shall "sing" forever in our hearts!"
Online Obituary and Guestbook can be found at:
Nathan Neal
Journal
Thursday, May 21, 2009 5:08 PM CDT Caringbridge now allows the Classic website to be turned into a book, so I am planning to go ahead and have this journal put into book form. I believe the site will still remain active, but I am not sure. So, in the next few days that is what will be happening with this journal.
It is so quiet now, I know that people have moved along with their lives and they should. But there are times I feel like I am stuck in a half way zone . . I still miss Nathan more than anyone can ever possibly imagine. There is a bond that is created between a child and parent . . to nurture and love and protect that child at all times. When Nathan died . . that bond did not break . . I still feel it . . I know that he is at peace, but I am not and I don't know if I ever will be. I continue to look for ways to mend that bond . . the heart that is broken. I suppose time will soften the blow . . but that too is bittersweet because I honestly do not know if I want that bond to be totally gone . . to not feel Nathan any longer. And, so I am half way . . yearning for my son . . and trying to live my life without him.
Again, I should emphasize that it is not all gloom . . I certainly continue to live, work, enjoy Sarah and Andy, the dogs, and everything I've always done before. But there is a hole . . in my heart . . and I just miss him . . every day. We still talk about him freely and remember the sweet, the funny, and the great times we all shared. But, the thing is that I want all of that back, I never wanted to lose it in the first place. So, trying to let go of that . . I don't know if it is ever possible.
Kevin and I attended Andrew's graduation from the University of Rhode Island, College of Pharmacy this past weekend. We had a great time and it was a thrill watching Andy walk onto the stage and have the Dean announce him as Doctor Andrew Robertson. We brought lobster with us from Maine and had a cookout before the night before graduation with his friends and their parents. The weather was damp with fog but our spirits were all high. Because of the drizzle and threat of rain the main graduation ceremonies were moved indoors. The large ceremony was brief and than all the separate colleges broke away and went to different buildings for a more intimate 'graduation'. Andy received a doctorate hood with the school and college colors. It took us awhile to figure out the hood, but it ended up that the candidates all carried their hoods up onto the stage. The Dean and another than lifted the hood up over the candidates head and draped it across their shoulders and it hung down their backs. It was all quite cool. He also received his diploma at the same time. Now he needs to go ahead and take the Pharmacy boards to be fully licensed. He has already started studying for that and his employer will be sending him to Philadelphia to take a course on how to pass the exam. (did I mention that he already has a job at a local Pharmacy?)
Sarah also has some wonderful news that will arrive in the middle of September. So we all have something to look forward to . . a new addition to the family.
I am uncertain how often I will update this journal. I have continued to be involved with our DSRCT group as much as possible. It seems that there has been a small amount of progress in disease treatment of which I am very hopeful. More needs to be done though . . no child, adolescent or young adult should be dying from cancer . . not like this anyway. More research, more treatment options are needed for desmoplastic small round cell tumor.
My heart and thoughts continue to be with all patients and their caregivers.
Read Journal History
Links: Wiki: DSRCT Database Information collected by patients about the disease.
DSRCT Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumor
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