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My husband Eric Hauck 39 yrs old was diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous leukemia in Sept. 2004. Upon hospital admission Eric's white cell count was 279,000 far higher than a normal 5000. After 1 week of hydrea treatment ( a form of chemo ) Erics counts were normal. But not cancer-free... the cancer would continue to progress to a terminal state without treatment.
After the initial shock our family needed to make plans. Eric and I had to close down our successful home remodeling company Sparky Construction. In order to put Eric into remission Eric was prescribed "GLEEVEC" 800 mg per day.
After a week Eric's counts were still normal however the Gleevec's side effects were brutal. Extreme bone pain, vomiting, nausea, diaherra, eye bleeds to name a few. He has been unable to work since then. He has good days, and then bad days. Erics oncologists insisted he is a great candidate for a cure for leukemia- A bone marrow transplant.
Other than the disease Eric is in perfect health. We just needed to find a donor, since neither of his brothers were a match. We went to the National Marrow Donor Program ( link below ) As chance would have it a perfect match was found... 10 of 10 perfect match for HLA which is a 1 in 5.5 million people chance. The donor is a 39 year old female. We won't know more about her until 1 year after the transplant (donor bank rules)
The outlook is good! Eric starts high dose chemo on May 16, 2005. Our children Casey 13, and Courtney 10 are doing well. Our family and friends have been fantastic with support! We are still raising money for our fund for family expenses, medical, special accomodations and special home renovations for Eric's return, etc.
To Donate write or call Kris Islam (847)515-8100 at the CASTLE BANK , 4520 West Route 62, Lake in the Hills, IL 60156 Donations can be made to the Hauck Leukemia Family Fund.
I will be with Eric for the first month at Loyola to help him through the High Dose chemo and transplant. Around June 10 my mother Sherri will live with and care for Eric at the Townplaces by Marriott in Lombard for approximately 100 days. Eric must be secluded and within a 1/2 hour of Loyola. I will update the journal everyday or every few. Please check in with us! Thank you. Your support is appreciated please contact (815) 356-3904 if you want to help. Leave a message for Ginni THANK YOU to everyone for your donations and support.
Our Family thanks you! Please click on the photos button for more pictures, and please leave a note in the guest book!
Journal
Thursday, May 21, 2009 4:53 AM CDT Took me a few trys to access this page....I haven't updated in a while. Things have been crazy and confusing at times for me. I have made some major changes in my life. Changes not by plan but by heart and situation. Eric had long been aggravated by my job as during his illness I worked so much and thankfully but..... there were a lot of negative forces involved with continuing to work while he was sick. Trying to juggle schedules with trips to Loyola and coming home to provide nursing care and just plain love and being a wife and mom and breadwinner....ETC>>>ETC>>>>
As now Eric has been at peace for 3 months I am starting to get a grip on things. At home in hospice he expressed his wishes for me , the kids, and everything else....which was a HUGE GIFT. Although these things were said and discussed I am now just starting to lose some confusion and disarray about everything. I have everyother day or whatever experiences that cause me to stop in my shoes and lose direction.....I think I have had an epiphany of sorts. I woke up about an hour ago....4am feeling empowered. I have no idea what I was dreaming about but I know I woke up with a feeling of lets get it going now!!
I upon being provoked by the same aggravations of 5 years at my job 2 weeks ago QUIT. I was in tears in a situation of reasonable means where I was being singled out as always.....I often came home in tears and frustration in differences with the owner and manager of the restaurant...I was constantly walking into a Dr Jekyl Mr. Hyde situation where one day I was the best Asst Manager with a future to not being talked to BLAH BLAH BLAH without going into detail, It was never going to change and with a big Thank you to Pablos Mexican Restaurant for helping me and standing by me through my lifes crisis I needed to say Goodbye. I worked at Pablos for nearly 7 years and without hard feelings I will miss everyone but the situation was a very negative force in my life. I am already fighting the negative forces and needing to start fresh and clean. I MISS ERIC, I MISS MY LIFE WITH HIM AND OUR FAMILY. I need to deal with that not the constant Bipolar craziness of my job controlling my feelings. I can't cry anymore. I am ready to move forward and have the energy and wearwithall to make a difference with my life. So that being said I am seeking new employment and making new committments for the future.
I have already tried to pay it forward through helping some people and trying to make plans to honor Erics fight and his life. My mind needs to be free....And I think finally this morning I can do it. I have spent so many mindless hours being confused and just coping.....Could I have some freedom finally to push over the edge? I think so. I got a message on Facebook from Tom Burnett who is a 2 time transplant survivor that Eric and I know and we have been friends with him and his family for the last 4 years yesterday. He is fighting the fight of his life like Eric and he put a note on my page telling me that at his last appointment with Dr. Stiff Erics doctor that Dr. Stiff, and the Social worker Sheri were asking about my well being and how I was doing. That is the force that has moved me.........It reminded my of our journey and our fight. I don't give up, Eric didn't give up. We fought so hard to keep everything. Eric was amazing and I guess me too. When I think of the day to day experience we had......as I think of the nearly 5 years of journaling on this page.....I realize the fight isn't over. Eric told me to move on and do things live my life, take care of the kids, and more. Its time to do that now with out guilt or nearly as much confusion or sadness. I actually think I could go visit Loyola now, start a memorial, start new work, make a difference here on earth for myself, my family and others. So the slate is clean this morning. Erics ashes are here and I have been struggling to move forward....Its time. I want to embrace our fight, endear his memory, give strength to others and forgive myself for surviving and his death. A haunting thought daily why him , why am I still here. It was often I asked of him above why did you leave me here. I would have been far easier to have gone with you.
So with out more words I am going to step it up. Move it along and make him proud. I know his wishes. For the first time last weekend Courtney finally came over.......The three of us went to a movie.....laughed.......and had a really good time. Courtney and I talked a lot.....I missed her so much and I believe her too. We can go on now she knows she'll always be my step daughter/ or just plain daughter. Her 14th birthday is June 4th. I am so happy to be able to buy her the gift she wants....and be able to attend her 8th grade graduation coming up. I will always be here for her and I know that Eric is smiling down knowing we're okay......Casey too!! Its complicated to try to explain everything, but we're all moving along. Its time I led the way. I know I can do it now and set an example for the kids and anyone else who may need some direction.
I can't explain how much better I feel putting my thoughts on this page. I am truly blessed and I am going to embrace it. I was so lucky to have had Eric in my Life. I miss him terribly but its time to honor and move on, and maybe inspire and definitley make him proud. I talk to him all the time.
I Love you Eric, ........ thanks for being part of my life. I was honored to be your wife and I cherish what we had. We definitely put our kids first and they are doing well I am going to do my best to follow your dream through with them. I'm so glad for our time together here.... I'm going to do my best to do what you asked of me in your last days. I am forgiving myself officially today so I can go forward
With love and honor
Ginni Hauck
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