Journal

Saturday, December 22, 2007 - From Our House to Yours

The Josephson / Bertone 2007 Holiday Music Collection
(ie. Our Family Christmas Letter)


Juli the cancer Survivor
(to the tune of Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer)

Juli the cancer survivor,
Had a very shiny year,
Twenty months off of treatment,
So far everything looks clear.

The old folks never stop worrying,
Guess they’re still a little gun shy,
But our baby’s biggest worries,
Is which Webkinz furniture to buy.

My, our girl’s growing up so fast,
She’s a baby no more,
“Can I wear makeup and do my hair,
And why is “Zoey 101” is off the air?”

Our drama queen took musical theatre,
And now she’s learning how to swim,
Truly a teenager in training,
We have to cater to her every whim.

Oh, we live to serve her every whim.


Nick the Nark
(to the tune of Deck The Halls)

Check his arms for bruises and blisters,
Fa la la la la la la la la,
Nick the Nark ratted out his sister,
Na na na na na na na na na,
Trust me, man, she’ll make him pay,
Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya,
That’s one chick you don’t betray.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Assuming that Nicholas will survive,
Fa la la la la la la la la,
He will continue on with grade five,
Na na na na na na na na na,
He’s working hard and is Class Prez,
Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya,
But pretty much does what Julianna says,
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Nick takes swimming and karate,
Fa la la la la la la la la,
While mom and dad lounge sipping latte,
Na na na na na na na na na,
Perhaps this dojo is the wrong locale,
Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya,
Have you ever met a Sensei named Hal.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.


O Come Ye 5th Graders
(to the tune of O Come All Ye Faithful)

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?
Nicholas thought that he was,
O come ye, o come ye,
To the casting call.

Tested and prodded,
They asked a hundred questions,
They even interviewed him on TV,
“And now the world adores me”,
Too bad he forgot the capital of B.C.,
Or he might be on the show.


Mary Air Miles
(to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Dashing through the air,
In prop powered tin can;
Work only sprung for coach,
Please Lord may we land.

From Churchill to Africa,
She’s barely on the ground,
Life seems so frantic-a
Man, this chick gets around.

Oh, more Air Miles, more Air Miles,
Globe trotting is sweet,
Oh, what fun it is to ride,
next to fat guys hogging the seat.
Oh, more Air Miles, more Air Miles,
For peace and quiet I will beg,
To lounge around watching “Gossip Girl”,
On her couch back in The Peg.


Oh Turtle Mountain Challenge
(to the tune of Oh Little Town of Bethlehem)

Oh Turtle Mountain Challenge Race,
You bring Mary deep disgrace,
She gave her best, which Grant can attest,
But got jobbed with 4th place,

Oh Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles,
Your team was the talk of town,
Tammy thinks she’s hot, but she is not,
THIS princess wear’s that crown.


Little Dumber Man
(to the tune of Little Drummer Boy)

Are you kidding me, pa rum pum pum pum,
Thought he worked for the City, pa rum pum pum,
Terry went back to school, pa rum pum pum pum,
Must be a sadist fool, pa rum pum pum pum,
Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,
Man, that’s dumb.

No more hockey for him, pa rum pum pum pum,
The end of fun and whims, pa rum pum pum pum,
But can he focus, we’ll see, pa rum pum pum pum,
The kids are getting a Wii, pa rum pum pum pum,
Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,
Video junkie bum.

Between his MBA, pa rum pum pum pum,
And buying Wii stuff on Ebay, pa rum pum pum pum,
Not much left of his pay, pa rum pum pum pum,
No wonder he’s gone grey, pa rum pum pum pum,
Rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,
Top up his rum.


Bye Bye Snow
(to the tune of Let It Snow)

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
Winter in The Peg makes us spiteful,
We’re trapped with no place to go,
Frigging snow, frigging snow, frigging snow.

But a glimmer of hope is shining,
Maybe Mary will finally stop whining,
In January this town we’ll blow,
Thank you Ro, off we go, to Mexico.

When we finally say goodbye,
We will think about you all the time,
But somehow I think we’ll survive,
Por favor otra Corona and lime.

Oh, we can’t wait to get cracking,
I think Nicholas is already packing,
Because Winnipeg winters blow,
Frigging snow, frigging snow, frigging snow.


From our chaotic house to yours, we wish you a wonderful holiday season, and all the happiness you can handle in 2008!

Love,
Mary, Terry, Nicholas and Julianna Banana