My Loving Dad

I'm always on here.



Looking down on us from Heaven


My Dad worked as a nurse all his life.He enjoyed what he did and took great pride in doing it.Then one day while working in Alberta Hospital he was attacked my a patient who had AIDS.This patient put his hand through a window and then attacked my Loving Dad. Seven years later he found he had HIV. He fought hard with this and took it hard when he got the news.





Dad became a Beautiful Angel on Christmas Day

July 25, 1941 - December 25, 2004



Missing You

No words I write can ever say
How much I miss you every day.
As time goes by, the loneliness grows;
How I miss you, nobody knows!
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name,
But all I have are memories
And photos in a frame.
No one knows my sorrow,
No one sees me weep,
But the love I have for you
Is in my heart to keep.
I've never stopped loving you
I'm sure I never will;
Deep inside my heart,
You are with me still.
Heartaches in this world are many
But mine is worse than any.
My heart still aches as I whisper low,
"I need you and I miss you so."
The things we feel so deeply
Are often the hardest to say,
But I just can't keep quiet any more,
So I'll tell you anyway.
There is a place in my heart
That no one else can fill;
I love you so, Dad,
And I always will.




Jason,Felicity and Tristan

	KNOW THE FACTS ABOUT HIV. The Bracelet... Wear it in memory of those who have fought the war called AIDS. Wear it as a reminder of those who today continue this fight. Wear it in support of vaccine development that will stop HIV infection. The Braclets Here are some of the alarming facts of this tragedy: 3.1 million people lost their lives in 2004. 4.9 million new HIV infections occurred in 2004. 39.4 million people around the world are living with AIDS/HIV in 2004; Approximately 11 of every 1,000 adults (ages 15 to 49) are HIV infected. 25 million children will be orphans by 2010 because of AIDS Over 27 million people have died since the first AIDS case was identified in 1980. The Facts Are You Positive About Being Negative? Over 500,000 HIV home test kits have already been sold and utilized by people looking for answers, just like you. Every test kit ordered from AIDS.com helps the American International AIDS Foundation, a non profit corporation, continue its mission of “Sharing Hope and Providing Knowledge” to thousands of people every day. Home Testing kits What The Red Ribbon Represents The Red Ribbon is the international symbol for HIV and AIDS awareness. It is worn by an increasing number of celebrities and everyday people around the world to demonstrate their care and concern about The Red Ribbon offers a symbol of hope and support for those living with HIV, as well as reminding us that HIV and AIDS continue to grow around the world and is not going away anytime soon. But Red Ribbons alone are not enough. The Red Ribbon is only a public symbol that needs to be attached to words and deeds that actually make a difference in the fight against HIV and AIDS. If you are offered the chance to purchase (or are given) a Red Ribbon, please wear it regularly as a tribute to the millions of people living with or affected by HIV / AIDS worldwide. Anyone can wear a Red Ribbon, not just celebrities, so we encourage you to wear one proudly. The Ribbon

In Memory of My Loving Dad

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*HUGS* TOTAL!
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Other Picture's of Dad Here
These are the first ones I posted
NEW PICTURES OF DAD!
Stop and see the new picture's of Dad
Information About HIV/AIDS
ARTICLE WRITE UP IN THE JOURNAL

THESE ARE THE COMENTS THAT SOME RUDE PEOPLE LEAVE IN MY DAD'S GUESTBOOK.I DON'T WANT TO POST THEM RIGHT ON HERE TO WRECK HIS BEAUTIFUL PAGE.
NASTY REMARKS PEOPLE LEAVE IN MY GUESTBOOK

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"Never Be Forgotten"

I’ll always see your face,
The corner of your smile,
And all the little things that no one will ever know.
Like it was yesterday, won’t ever fade away,
Goodbye is just a word that I will never say.

You will never be forgotten.
A million days could pass us by,
But what is time but just a dream?
Oh, I still feel you here with the stars,
I would look up tonight and know just where you are.

You will never be forgotten.
A million days could pass us by,
But what is time but just a dream?
Oh I still feel you here with me.
You’re more than just a memory.
Oh, you will never be forgotten.

And the world just keeps on going;
It has no way of knowing
That you’re gone.

You will never be forgotten.
A million days could pass us by,
But what is time but just a dream?
Oh, I still feel you here with me.
You’re more than just a memory.
Oh, you will never be forgotten.






These are poems that I wrote about me.
You’re more than just a memory.
Oh, you will never be forgotten.

I can‘t hold your hand
Or look into your eyes,
And when I talk to you,
It just echoes in my mind;
But If hearts are made of dust
And if we fell from Dad.

	POEMS My one and only Loving Dad As I sit here tonight thinking of you I am reminded of all the things we would do How when I needed you You would always be there And never did once say you never would care. Dad you have always been there for me When I was up and feeling down How will I go on when you are gone You made me what I am today Remember all the times we would go outside to play As I sit with you tonight As you lay in your hospital bed It hurts me so much what your going through And what your thinking in your head. You lay there so fragile Your so skinny and so weak And not to mention that You can barley speak I am dreading the day When you have to leave To be in the heaven's so blue Cause Dad it going to break my heart To have to live without you. I want you to walk me down the isle The day when I say I do And to see the look in your eye And say that I'm proud of you. Jason loves the chain you gave And will cherish it with his heart For you are his special Grandpa And loves you with all his heart. You were there for me Dad When I had my baby boy For you even got to cut the cord That gave you so much joy You were always there for me and my baby boy Oh my god Dad what am I going to do To have to live my life without you I know your first son is in heaven and what he meant to you That is also why I named him Jason too Remember when I was small In the hospital so sick It was you who was always there with me And would stay with me day and night And you would keep telling me to Fight fight fight fight fight Well I am here now dad and it's all because of you I wish I could do the same for you But there;s nothing I can do But keep telling you to keep fighting And that I am here for you. The person that gave you HIV I like to tell him a thing or two When he broke the glass right through Then he even had the nerve To take it out on you Now you are suffering Because of what he did And all I want for you to do is Live live live live live. Please Keep on fighting Dad Tristan and Fissy will tell you to That your are the Best Grandpa That they are happy to have had And it breaks there heart that mommy Is losing the best Dad she ever had. If I could you know I would Stay with you day and night Just to sit and talk to you about you wonderful life Or even just to hold your hand and watch you breathe all night And how proud I am for you being my dad And you never gave up without a fight. Just always remember and never forget You gave me your love You gave me your heart I Knew we bonded from the start Cause you were there right untill the day Our Father In Heaven took you away. HOME AT LAST You became an angel Right on Christmas Day Dad oh how I miss you In Each and every way I know that your in peace And you are suffering no more But Dad I really wish You would walk right through my door I keep thinking it's all a dream And you will hug me so tight How am I ever going to Sleep again at night. I close my eyes and think of you It's you I always see And Dad I want you to Remember You will forever be apart of me. I stayed with you in the hospital Every single night I will never forget the time we shared For the rest of my life. I just sat there and held your hand And layed beside your side And whispered Jason's waiting With his arms opened wide I just sit here alone crying Wishing you where here Cause when you left on Christmas morning And peice of me had died. But you will forever be in my heart And that ache that's in my side. Dad I love you so much Why did you have to die All I did last night was Cry and cry and cry I layed my head beside you And I held your hand Why we let go I will never understand For when they came and checked you I stared in disbelief But sitting here thinking That is how you wanted it to be With just the slip of your hand And you beside of me. I think that's why you went early So I could be at home Cause you know that I wouldn't leave You on Christmas Day alone. The kids they loved there presents Mike loved the housecoat too Dad I really don't think I know just what to do So many wonderful memories I have inside my heart I just wish that Daddy We never had to part You held on a little longer You sure put on a fight How will I never Forget that fatal night When you where finally resting Apart of me had died Oh how I soaked your pillow When I sat there and just cried I still can't believe it's true That you are really gone Oh how much I wish you knew I'm trying to be strong I know that you would want me to Go ahead and carry on. We went and cleaned your room At the Karios House that night That hurt me so much Daddy But I felt you there with me Oh how I wish I could go back To how it used to be How I would come and visit you And sit and watch TV Oh how I already miss those days And it hasn't even been three? I wanted to take your pillow For it smelled just like you Please help me Daddy Heal the pain of losing you. I cried into your pillow And held it very tight Oh I wish I had it here with me Each and every night Today we made the arrangements For your celebration of life It was hard for me to do But I hope you know Daddy I did it just for you. I will soon have your ashes They will be with me forever I just wish that the doctor's Could have made you better. I brought them your favorite suit The one you loved to wear And when I seen you in it You looked to peaceful I swear You looked the same as you did Before you went into that place The way I want to remember you Without that sad look on your face. I know that your on your journey The new one has begun With our baby brother Your first born son Please tell him that i love him And that I miss him so For oneday when I get to heaven We will be playing in the snow I kissed you so many times today It was so hard to walk away When all I wanted to do Was to just stay with you Tomorrow will be harder For it will be the last time I see Your oh so peaceful face Staring right at me But deep down in my heart dad I want you to understand That I will forever remember Just holding your hand. Late that Friday night Dad The Doctor's came to me And said your not improving It's time to set him free That felt just like a knife To hear those aweful words Just to have let you go It hurt me more than you know I had to make that dreaded decision For you wanted it to be me But I still feel it's my fault That you are gone away from me I know you never wanted to suffer And you wanted to be set free But oh my dear daddy Why did you pick me? It feels like I killed you Apart of me has died What that did to my heart Just tore me up inside I know that was your wish Dad To be comfortable and pain free But all in all Dad It will forever kill me I know I shouldn't think that way But deep inside I do No matter what people tell me For me it will be true So please forgive me Daddy I miss you and it's true That I will never forget you No matter what I do The priest came to the room that night And read you your last rights I just cried in your arms And held your hand so tight I brought the kids that morning And Mike he came Dad I feel so aweful Dad I feel so blue To have to live my life Alone without you Today was really hard on me In each and every way I kept on thinking that I was throwing you away! For today was the day Dad That I went to Jason's grave And sadley placed your ashes Forever there to stay Where will you go now Will you stay there for awhile will you come to me in my dreams and give me your sweet smile I will always love you daddy I feel so lost and sad I sit here tonight crying Missing my dear sweet Dad I feel so lonely now Now your really gone away I only wish that I could keep your ashes here to stay I know that your in my heart and in my memories too but listen dear daddy why do i feel so blue I wanted to just keep you Forever here with me but now you are with Jason Till forever enternity But I had lots of Family support Aunty Susie and Uncle Dale Suzette,Dan and Jeremy Uncle Victor and his Girlfriend Kim and the adorable twins To let me know that it was okay To finally let you go It still was so hard for me To do that to you you know In fact it really ripped my heart into peices all over again it felt like Christmas all over again When you went away I wanted to just keep you Here with me to stay But Daddy I know you are resting In the heaven's above And I never ever will forget Your unconditioning love. For I may have of spread your ashes I may feel sad and blue But your with so many Angels now Who love you like I do.

AN ANGEL WALKS BESIDE ME

An angel walks beside me,
I feel him everyday,
he helps me through lives ups and downs,
and whatever comes my way.
He guides me down the road of life,
and lights the darkest roads,
he picks me up and carries me,
when I can not bear the load.
He helps to ease the pain I feel,
he mends my spirit, too,
he holds my hand, and shelters me,
and gives me courage and strength, too.
He speaks to me with words of love,
and he listens to my pleas,
he was sent here from the lord above,
to guide and comfort me.
I know he's always watching,
though his form I can not see,
its a peace I feel deep in my heart,
that leads me to believe.
An angel walks beside me,
I feel blessed everyday,
that the presence of this angel,
will never go away.







Tristan a Felicity's Spring School Photo's.

Journal

Sunday, June 15, 2008 8:00 PM CDT

Chris my son Jason is okay.I had a brother named Jason he passed away when he was 16 months old and that is how my son got his name after my brother.


Happy Father's Day Dad.I miss you so much.I miss cooking your big feed of Lobster.You always enjoyed that on Father's Day well if you could every day.The garden I made for you is coming up so nice this year.I'm hoping there are going to be lots of raspberry's on them this year for there hasn't been any yet but there spreading so maybe that's a good sign.All the ornaments you used to have in the house are in your garden the rabbit's,dogs,squirrel,and raccoons and the fox.It's so beautiful Dad.Felicity even put the flower she planted in there for you and we all know how much you loved flower's.I hope you and Jason are having a wonderful Father's Day in Heaven Dad.I know how you longed to be with him again.Give him a hug and a kiss for me as for I am sending all my kisses and hugs to you on this special day Dad.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND MISS YOU

Here are some picture's of your garden

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Hospital Information:

Patient Room: LOVING ANGEL IN HEAVEN

EDMONTON, ALBERTA, CANADA

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E-mail Author: smokinbee@shaw.ca

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